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How to Choose a Vibrator Vibrator 101 Tips for Guys
How to Introduce a Vibrator Tips for Moms

Introducing a vibrator into your relationship needn't be daunting.
Approach it as a newcomer, even if you've both used vibrators on your own or with others before. Just as you needed to get to know one another when you first began having sex, it may take some time to get comfortable using a vibrator together as well. Start small (literally and figuratively), and progress together from there.

Here are a few of the most common stumbling blocks, accompanied by some suggestions we hope you'll find useful. Every relationship is different, so be creative and adjust as necessary to meet your needs. And if you're looking for further guidance, don't hesitate to Ask Jimmyjane.

PS – The same approach that's outlined below can easily be adapted to other desires as well...

Communicating an interest in a vibrator.

Starting the Conversation

Which Vibrator to Try First

Overcoming Vibrator Envy


How can I help my partner understand my interest in trying a vibrator?

  • Communicate.
    The single best way to expand and improve your sex life is always to communicate with your partner. This is particularly true when trying something new. Even if you think your partner understands intuitively, explain why you're interested so that your partner isn't left wondering. Uncertainty and worry love to fill in wherever lack of communication leaves an opening. Hearing your feelings directly is worth a thousand intuitions.
  • Be open.
    Share why you're interested. If it's because the idea turns you on, say so. If it's because you think your partner will enjoy it, and his or her enjoyment is very important to you – say that. If you feel it's important to "spice things up" – well, there's a conversation that's definitely worth having. Once you are candid about your feelings, your partner will be much more inclined to express his or her own.
  • Pay attention.
    Be sensitive to your partner's comfort level. Going a little bit outside our comfort zone can be exciting, but going too far is simply uncomfortable. If you sense hesitation or concern, ask about it, and adjust your plan accordingly.