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Sex Toys R Us: Using Toys in a Relationship

 

Man guide

What will I learn?

  • Why Some Couples Are Scared to Bring in Sex Toys?
  • How Many Couples Use Sex Toys?
  • How to Bring Up Introducing Sex Toys
  • ‌Why Couples Introduce Sex Toys to the Relationship?
  • ‌Is Using Sex Toys in a Relationship 'Good'?
  • How to Pick Sex Toys as a Couple?

It's OK to admit it: Sometimes life in the bedroom becomes stale, especially when you've been with the same partner for a while. How can you spice things up? Bringing a toy or two into the bedroom can take you and your boo to new heights of pleasure. Plus, you can explore new interests like pegging or bondage!

According to one survey, about 65% of women and 50% of men in the United States have used a sex toy at some point in their lives. Other countries are different. For example, up to 70% of both men and women in Italy have tried a sex toy.

Why Some Couples Are Scared to Bring in Sex Toys?

sex toys for couples
sex toys for couples

Introducing toys into a relationship can be scary. You may worry about how your partner will react, especially if you're a woman and your partner is a man. Historically, some men have felt insecure around sex toys due to societal messaging around sex. They feel threatened by them because they've been taught that they should be the only thing their partner needs to get off.

insecure around sex toys

However, a sex toy isn't a threat — it's an invitation for more connection and pleasure together. Even a clitoral vibrator will enhance the experience for both people involved.

clitoral vibrator

According to one study, over 18% of women were hesitant to bring toys into their sex life because they were afraid their partner would feel insecure. But you don't have to worry about being replaced by a sex toy — nothing can replace the joy and intimacy of human contact. Toys can make it even better.

How Many Couples Use Sex Toys?

It's completely normal to use toys in a relationship. Don't believe us? The numbers don't lie.

Research shows that it's more common for couples to use sex toys than single people. Another survey showed that 52% of people used a sex toy in a partnership. So you're not alone. More than half of couples enjoy playing together with dildos, vibrators, cock rings and other fun accouterments.

Women aged 55-60 were just as likely to have tried a sex toy at some point in their lives. However, they were half as likely as younger women to use sex toys.

Read: Types of Vibrators for Older Women

Types of Vibrators for Older Women

How to Bring Up Introducing Sex Toys

bring sex toys into a relationship
bring sex toys into a relationship

  1. First, gauge the temperature of sex talk in your relationship. Are you and your partner comfortable talking about sex in general? Or does it feel awkward?

If you're not used to talking about it, try creating a culture of sexy talk in your relationship. Start discussing your likes and dislikes to create more open communication. When you do have the sex toy talk, it will all be more straightforward.

2. Be specific to start. Talk about what type of toy you'd like to use and how you'd like to use it. It will make it easier for your partner to get on board. Make sure to keep the conversation positive. Talk about how it will increase pleasure for both of you, rather than criticizing your partner's bedroom habits. 

3. You can start with something more luxurious/sexy to impress your partner. We recommend the lingerie with wearable vibrators on it.

4. For people with penis we recommend the high-end Penis Ring Vibrator that is perfect for couples

‌ Why Couples Introduce Sex Toys to the Relationship?

Couples often introduce toys to gain more passion and intimacy in their sex life. Some studies show that couples who are satisfied with their relationships are more likely to use sex toys. Spicing things up can create more communication in the relationship, leading to a stronger foundation and more trust overall. 

‌ Is Using Sex Toys in a Relationship 'Good'?

Whether something is good or bad is entirely up to you. There's only one way to find out — try it! 

Research suggests that using sex toys can make your relationship even better both in and out of the bedroom. One study showed that nearly half of all couples who use vibrators said they frequently communicate, while just over a quarter of couples who don't use sex toys reported the same.

In general, giving sex toys a try is a wonderful idea. Each situation is different. For some people, having penetrative sex is painful, so using toys opens up a whole new world of sexy possibilities. For others, it makes it easier to orgasm, brings the partners closer together, or spices things up and keeps them interesting. 

How to Pick Sex Toys as a Couple?

sex toys for couples
sex toys for couples

One of the best ways to pick sex toys as a couple is to go shopping together. These days, you don't even have to leave your couch or put on pants. Just point your browser to your favorite sex toy shop and take a look. Shopping together, whether it's in person or online, allows both partners to feel included in the buying experience. Plus, it can build up anticipation for the sexy moment when you use the toy together.

For your first sex toy, pick something that makes you feel comfortable. You may not want to choose the largest dildo you can find or something with many moving parts or complex accessories. A small to medium-sized dildo, simple vibrator or butt plug is an excellent way to get things rolling. It will give you an idea of what you like, and you can always upgrade later on.

The Best Sex Toys for Couples

The best sex toy differs for each couple, but here are some amazingly pleasurable recommendations:

Neptune 2: This toy is perfect for anal, prostate and perineum stimulation, leaving your hands (and other parts) free for other pleasurable acts.

Kore: A cock ring with a powerful clitoral vibrator to make you both shiver and shake with delight.

What Type of Toy Is Best for Women?

While everyone is different, people with vaginas often enjoy using a vibrator on the clit while getting penetrated. 

Form 2: Award-winning design for clitoral pleasure.

Love Pods: Unique sex toy with swirling nubs powered by motors.

Apex: Try this toy everywhere. It has options for clitoral pleasure, anal love, G-spot stimulation and more.

What Type of Toy Is Best for People With Penises?

While all toys benefit everyone in a couple, guys may enjoy trying a cock ring, anal toys or a masturbation sleeve.

Arvos: Amazing masturbation sleeve with several choices for pattern and intensity.

Deimos: This cock ring with a clitoral vibe has a remote control for extra fun.

Ersa: This set of butt plugs starts small and goes bigger when you're ready. The grooves allow the lube to last longer.

What Are the Benefits to Using Sex Toys as a Couple?

how many couples use sex toys
how many couples use sex toys

There are so many great things about trying a sex toy. Not only will you explore new pleasurable avenues with the nearest and dearest person in your life, but you can also improve communication and create a more solid relationship. Trying new things in the bedroom can build trust. Plus, there's nothing to lose. Sex toys can never replace a real-life experience or body part. They only enhance your pleasure together.

Introducing toys into a relationship can be a lot of fun. However, just like anything in the bedroom, it requires communication. Exploring what you both like (and don't like) is part of the journey. Sex toys can be excellent in a relationship, but it's also about you and your partner's personal preferences. The only way you'll know if you like it is to try one out!

References

Nine facts that shed light on the big business of sex toys. BBC.

How to Bring Sex Toys Into the Bedroom Without It Being the Most Awkward. (September 2018). Self.

An Open Letter To All Those Guys Who Feel Emasculated By Sex Toys In Bed. (September 2017). Bustle.

Sex Toys More Common in Women in Relationships. (2004). WebMD.

How Sex Toys Really Affect Your Relationship. (November 2016). Bustle.

Your 6-Step Guide for Introducing Sex Toys Into Your Partnered Relationship. (June 2020). Well + Good.

How Sex Toys Impact Relationships. (May 2017). Psychology Today.

Sex IRL: We talked to 11 people who love using sex toys with their partners. (May 2020). Hello Giggles.

The Reason To Use Toys With Your Partner. (March 2017). Bustle.

Continue your journey

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Disclaimers

The information provided in this article is for general informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding sexual health or medical conditions. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking it because of something you have read in this article.

If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, go to the nearest emergency department, or call emergency services immediately.

Sources

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Let’s dive in. Why Try a Vibrator Together? Adding a vibrator into the mix isn’t about replacing anything—it’s about enhancing what you already have. Exploring toys together opens the door to deeper communication, shared curiosity, and yes, mind-blowing pleasure. It’s also a great way to discover fantasies you didn’t know you had (or were too shy to bring up). A well-placed buzz can unlock conversations and moments that bring you even closer, even outside the bedroom. The Best Couple Vibrators Evoke® Du-o Vibrating Massage Wheel This toy blends massage and vibration in a sleek wheel form, letting you glide it over skin (and curves) with control in both hands. How to use it together: Body mapping date: Take turns guiding the wheeled buzz over each other’s bodies—backs, thighs, necks. Explore “sweet spots” you didn’t even know were there. Synchronize rhythm with penetration: Use the Du-o on one partner’s sensitive areas while you’re having intercourse. The vibration can heighten sensations for both. Mirror play: Both of you use it on yourselves in front of a mirror or switch sides so you can see each other’s faces as those waves hit. Astra® Automatic Male Masturbator Don’t be fooled, this male masturbator isn’t just for solo play. For couples, it opens up possibilities for shared control, teasing, and synchronized pleasure. How to use it together: Tease & reward: Use light touching, kisses, or distraction while the Astra is doing its thing, then switch roles or bring in other toys. Mutual stimulation: The non-Astra partner can use hands, bullets, or external vibes on their own body while the Astra does its work—so both partners have something happening. Kore™ C-Ring with Remote Kore is a vibrating C‑ring (cock ring) that delivers stimulation to both partners. The strong vibration patterns add to the external stimulation to satisfy both your cravings. How to use it together: Wear-it-during penetration: The partner wearing it gets constriction plus vibration; the other partner will feel the vibration on internal or external contact points. Remote teasing: Let your partner sneak in vibration with a handy remote control while you’re doing something else, so you carry teasing anticipation to the bedroom. Rhythm play: Match your movements to the vibration pulses, switching tempo, thrusting, or pausing in sync with the toy. Chroma™ Mini Bullet (Teal) Tiny but mighty. This is one of the best bullet vibrators for couples because it packs a big punch in a tiny package. How to use it together: Added stimulation during sex: Slide it into positions where it can stimulate the clitoris, perineum, or inner thighs during penetration. Oral accompaniment: One partner holds the bullet while giving oral; adjust pressure and placement as they react. Teasing switcheroo: Use it for solo stimulation first, then hand over or share the control—swap who’s doing the “driving.” Ascend® 3 Palm Vibrator This one is designed to be held in the palm, giving you tactile control while maintaining eye contact and closeness. It’s ideal for guiding your partner’s pleasure while feeling grounded in touch. How to use it together: Palm-guided pleasure: You hold it and guide it directly to the other’s erogenous zones—labia, perineum, inner thighs—letting them feel your intention in every buzz. Face-to-face connection: Because your hand is occupied, your other hand is free to stroke, caress, or explore their body while you maintain gaze and verbal feedback. Switch-hold play: Take turns holding it on each other, so you alternate who’s in charge of where the vibration goes. Couple intimate in the bedroom How to Introduce Vibrators into Your Relationship Let’s be real—bringing up sex toys with a partner can feel a little vulnerable at first. But it doesn’t have to be a big talk. Sometimes all it takes is a simple, playful nudge:“What if we tried this tonight?” Start from a place of curiosity, not criticism. You’re not saying, “Something’s missing,” you’re saying, “Let’s have even more fun.” That’s sexy in itself. Here are a few tips to make your first foray feel exciting—not intimidating: Start slow. Choose something unintimidating (like a bullet or palm vibe) and play around together with no pressure to "perform." Think of it as an experiment with pleasure. Laugh through the awkward. Seriously, if something slips, buzzes in the wrong place, or makes a weird noise—laugh. It’s part of the fun. Awkwardness doesn’t kill intimacy; fear of it does. Let curiosity lead. Try the toy on your hand or neck first. Explore different speeds and settings together. Let it spark questions and shared discoveries. Keep the conversation open. Check in before, during, and after: “How did that feel for you?” or “Do you want to try the other setting next time?” Don’t Know Where to Start? Try the Bundle That Does It All Why settle for one of these toys when you can have all of the best vibrators for couples on hand? The Pleasure Your Mate Bundle is your all-in-one intro kit for couples’ play. It takes the guesswork out of choosing and gives you a curated selection of best-in-class vibes to explore together. Here’s what makes it so good: Built for two: Everything inside is designed with couples in mind—no awkward guesswork, just great options for mutual pleasure. Something for every mood: Want hands-free? Intimate massage? Teasing vibrations? This bundle’s got you. Beginner-friendly + deeply satisfying: Whether it’s your first toy or your fiftieth, these pieces are versatile enough to please any dynamic. Shop the bundle or explore more of the best couple vibrators from JIMMYJANE. 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If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, go to the nearest emergency department, or call emergency services immediately. 📌 Quick navigation Jump to section... Introduction Why Try a Vibrator Together? The Best Couple Vibrators How to Introduce Vibrators into Your Relationship Don’t Know Where to Start? Try the Bundle That Does It All Continue Your Journey

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