Catch a Lay, Not Feelings | How To Have A One Night Stand?

More than 65% of people have had at least a single one-night stand. How many one-night perspectives does the average person have? American men said they had about seven one-night stands in a survey, while women had an average of six. 

People don’t always intend to make it a one-night stand, but sometimes it just turns out that way. Other times people are just out to have fun.

What Is a One Night Stand?

What does “one night stand” mean? Typically, a one-night stand is a single night of pleasure with a total stranger.

Some one-night stands start as a date, but then the chemistry fizzles, and neither person wants to go out again. Sometimes you can’t help but screw someone’s brains out, but circumstances don’t allow you to continue the relationship. Other times, you’re interested in continuing, but the other person ghosts — or vice versa. 

How Common Are One Night Stands?

how to have a one night stand

More than half of people have had one at some point in their lives. Some people think that being up for one-night stands is “slutty.” But there’s nothing wrong with two adults having consensual sex, whether or not they are in a relationship. If a one-night stand is on your bucket list, don’t let other people’s judgments hold you back.

What Should You Consider Before Having a One Night Stand?

If you plan on having a one-night stand, make sure you know your sexually transmitted infections (STI) status. It’s always good to have a little check-in before the fun starts to ensure you and your partner are on the same page about sexual health.

Think about whether or not you genuinely want to have a one-night stand. Make sure you are doing it because it’s what you want. Don’t have a one-night perspective due to peer pressure or make someone like you.

What Can You Do If You’re Interested in Learning How to Have a One Night Stand?

There are many ways you can try to find someone to spend the night with:

  • Online dating. Try an app or site like Tinder or OkCupid to find a like-minded individual. It’s a great way to find a hook-up because you can chat a little beforehand to make sure you’re on the same page about keeping it to just one night.

  • A bar or club. It is a classic location to pick someone up. Most people are already out to have a good time, so why not make it even better with a night of pleasure together?

  • A special event. Weddings, house parties, and other festivities are a great place to pick up someone — especially if you’re in a new location. Just be aware that sleeping with a family member or a friend of a friend could affect that particular friendship.

Once you have someone in mind, approach them and get to flirting. Make sure that everything is entirely consensual. The only yes is an enthusiastic one. “Maybe,” or “I’ll think about it,” does not count as a yes.

What Do You Need to Be Prepared for a One Night Stand?

Do You Need to Be Prepared for a One Night Stand

If you’re out on the town looking for a one-night stand, carry a few condoms, maybe some lube, and any other safer sex products you may want to use.

You may also want to include some soap, hand sanitizer, or mouthwash. That way, even if it goes down in the bar’s bathroom, you can be prepared for anything. If you want to have extra fun, bring your favorite pocket-sized vibrator, too.

What Are Some of the Most Common One Night Stand Mistakes?

It’s hard to make a mistake when you’re out looking for pleasure, but some mishaps can occur. Watch out for these:

  • Don’t rush straight to the sex. Even though you’re there to get it on, you can still enjoy some foreplay.

  • Don’t get too drunk. You want to remember your hot encounter, don’t you? You can have enough to loosen up. Staying on the sober side ensures that everything is consensual as well.

  • Keep all your items in the same place. If you scatter your stuff around a stranger’s home, you may forget something. When that happens, you’d have to go back another time. That defeats the “one night” part of the one-night stand.

  • I don’t care what other people think. If you’re doing a “walk-of-shame” — also known as a “stride of pride” — in last night’s little black dress or flashy club button-down, don’t let friends or strangers bring you down. You had fun, you did what you wanted, and now it’s probably time for brunch.

How Do You Stay Safe Before and During a One Night Stand?

When you have a one-night stand, always let someone know where you are going and who you will be with. People will know where to look for you and whom to contact if anything happens. Other safety tips you can follow are:

  • Always go with your gut. If someone gives you creepy vibes or things feel “off,” it’s best to stay away. While this advice is often offered to women, everyone can benefit from this safety tip.

  • Pay attention to signs that someone will respect your consent. When they get pushy or cross a boundary, it’s probably time to leave. What happens on a one-night stand should involve support from both parties.

  • Have a quick check-in about STI status. Do this before the main event, and use protection to prevent unwanted pregnancy and STIs.

What Should You Do After a One Night Stand?

have one night stand

There is always the potential to have it turn into more with a one-night stand. Sometimes you already know that. But you want a one-night perspective to stay that way. Other times, the other person will let you know — either with words or by ghosting. 

What should you do? If you’re interested in hanging out again, text them. But if they don’t reply, just let it go. Getting too attached is the pinnacle of not doing after a one-night stand.

The other part you have to consider is what to do the next day. About 30% of people who’ve had a one-night stand like staying for breakfast. Others prefer to dart out at 6 AM if they can’t sleep or find some middle ground that involves waking up together and saying goodbye. Any of these situations are completely fine. It just depends on what works best for you.

When considering how to act after a one-night stand, figure out how you feel about what happened and how much more time you would like to spend with the person involved. Before thinking of what to say to a one-night stand, process the situation first. 

What Are the Benefits of Having a One Night Stand?

The main benefit of having a one-night stand is simply that it is enjoyable. It’s a great way to experience intimacy if you lack that in your life. Even if you don’t have mind-blowing sex, you will still have an adventure.

What Are the Disadvantages of a One Night Stand?

Are one-night stands bad? Some people don’t enjoy one-night stands or emotionless interactions. If that’s you, then you might not have very much fun at them. Otherwise, there aren’t too many disadvantages to consider as long as you play it safe, are true to yourself, and rock your one-night stand with confidence.

Why Is It Called a One Night Stand?

It’s simple: A one-night stand lasts for only one night. Anything beyond that makes it dating or a relationship. 

However — especially with COVID — one-night stands can require extra preparation. Before the meeting, you may need to communicate about your safety protocols with COVID or quarantine. Ensure you stay updated on your local COVID restrictions to remain as safe and healthy as possible while still having fun.

References

This Is How Often People Actually Have One-Night Stands. (June 2017). Refinery 29.

10 Things No One Tells You About One-Night Stands. (October 2015). Bustle.

7 Things Ob/Gyns Want You To Know About One-Night Stands. (July 2016). Self.

How To Have The Best One-Night Stand. (March 2017). Bustle.

How to Land a One-Night Stand. (June 2019). Ask Men.

How to have a fun, safe one-night stand that’s actually pleasurable for you. (July 2018). Hello Giggles.

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